Dear Uncle Jay:

What the heck is a “caucus?”

Dear Richard: A caucus is a green plant that has sharp little spikes on the outside, but drinkable water inside.  It grows mostly in deserts.  But it doesn’t grow in Iowa, so in that state it’s a word that means “toy election.”  Iowa’s toy election is just like a real toy, because (a) it’s oversold on television until you’re convinced that it matters, and (b) it’s quickly forgotten when the TV starts telling you the next thing that matters.