Michael Vick’s hard time might be short, even in dog years.  After all, Lindsay & Nicole’s combined jail time was less than 2 days! Maybe this is what finally made Alberto Gonzales resign, boys & girls.  Plus: will General Patraeus’ report on Iraq be SuperBad?  Uncle Jay explains it all!

Quick, watch this episode before China recalls it!  Or before Wall Street sells it, a hurricane destroys it, the NFL suspends it, or President Bush regretfully accepts its resignation.  Obviously, Uncle Jay’s got a lot explainin’ to do this week.

Uncle Jay picks the best news stories of the week to explain!  (Karl Rove waited until this episode was done before announcing his resignation. Coward.)

The stock market craves some serious meds, just as Barry Bonds scores his M.D.!   Bush promises aid to Minneapolis, giving New Orleans a good laugh.  And Congress does what it does best: leave for vacation!   Uncle Jay explains it all!