Liberal.  Conservative.  Do they mean anything anymore?   In this holiday rerun (but with 10 all-new seconds!), Uncle Jay explains the difference.  Many politicians deny that they’re liberal when they really are, or brag that they’re conservative when they’re really not.  But at least they can find some common ground and agree that they’re all lying.

SPECIAL EPISODE!  It’s time for the (yuck!) Presidential Conventions.  They’re kind of like the Olympics, but instead of fireworks, embarrassing government control and widespread doping, the conventions have balloons, embarrassing corporate control and widespread drinking.  Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay has a quick congratulations for Michael Phelps, and then: Britney Spears!  Paris Hilton!  Barack Obama!  John McCain!  You’ll be thrilled to know that none of these people are in this week’s episode.  We go straight to Men’s Synchronized Bombing, which Russia might sweep.  Uncle Jay explains it all, and earns a Cement Medal.

The news can be sooo cute!  An adorable political scandal from John Edwards.  Itsy-bitsy teeny-weensy anthrax spores.   And a cute & cuddly military invasion from Russia.  Thank goodness we have the Beijing Olympics, so we don’t have to think about such a brutal, oppressive regime.  Uncle Jay explains it all!